Sam's Mad Skills

Working It For Monkey

2009-08-12T19:48:00.001-07:00

The corners are a little smudgy but I think I can fix that!

Squint and Pretend

2008-06-10T01:23:00.001-07:00

You might notice a fucked-off work in progress above for P. from My Brand of Crazy. The actual header is NOT blurry. I swear. I just don't feel like taking the time to mess with it right now. I need some feedback, however as I am having trouble with direction, color, blah blah and my index finger on my right hand is jammed from too much Photoshop on a laptop. Duh.

Cinnamon

2007-10-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

Testing

2007-07-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

One, two...

Virginia Belle

2007-07-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

It's time for the infamous VB to get a template upgrade! A work in progress, but it will be done soon!

Latest and Greatest

2007-05-06T20:36:00.000-07:00

My newest template is up at Boobless Brigade Master. Go tell her how purdy she looks!

Boobless Brigade Master

2007-04-30T01:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't received any input from BBM as of yet, but I felt inspired and decided to begin anyway. She may decide to pursue a completely different direction, but that's okay. I'm enjoying myself! More tinkering to come...

Also, thanks to the folks at Blossom Swap for the pictures of the daisies. It's not like I'm talented enough (or have enough energy) to go hunting in the wilderness for daisies, camera in hand. I'm lucky to have a good enough day where I can semi-operate Google.

Ta-da!

2007-04-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

I think the new template is done, complete with islebehere's sidebar information. If she approves, you can soon check it out at her blog and this blog will go back to it's normal, boring appearance.... until I start work on Boobless Brigade Master's blog!

islebehere

2007-04-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Today's post is brought to you by the letter "P" and the number "too many". Islebehere dropped me an email requesting some header help, and like the over-achiever that I am, I decided to redo my whole blog with the new look. I'm not sure if she'll like it, but it was an interesting journey.

Her request was a header that involved a palm tree theme, where the trunk of the tree formed the "I" of Isle. Yeah, you just thought I was fucking creative and shit, huh? Nope. But I have some brilliant advice for you: Do NOT EVER search for "free images palm tree" because you may end up with gay porn, the type involving HUGE cocks and lots of semen. Posed in front of a palm tree. Not that porn, gay, cocks, palm trees or semen are bad on their own. But the mixture? EW!

I may continue tweaking this template over the next few days, any feedback is appreciated!

Half Nekkid Froggy

2007-04-12T00:29:00.000-07:00

My new red-eyed tree frog and some side boob, courtesy of Teddy Bear and his suggestion of "what's a picture without a little side boob?" Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday Essie and Boobless Brigade Master. The rest of you can eat it for not being excited about my tattoo OR last weeks HNT with the most sexy Dude. Also, I would like some gratitude for posing, editing and posting whilst in the midst of an oncoming migraine. Which, by the way, is somewhat like saying: "Please keep bludgeoning me and give me an enema while doing so".

HNT Dude Kisses

2007-04-05T01:11:00.000-07:00

Why I don't ever need to exfoliate my nose:

I love my Dude. He gives me kisses every night.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Photochop

2007-04-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

Playing with photoshop isn't just fun and games, it is a integral part of my skill set. The very same skill set that includes my stunning ability to manipulate both men and computers (each sold separately). I am honing my skills because some day soon I will be gainfully employed and need me some skills. MAD SKILLS.

Also, the header? A picture I took at the wedding. Photography is just another mad skill of mine. And, if you wanted to know what I charge a person like Anna for fixing her blog? Her very life. No, her soul. Well, she offered me both and I'm considering the virtues of each one. I'll let you know when I decide.

All Done

2007-04-04T15:27:00.000-07:00

To see the glories of my fixing-ness, go to Anna's Place. Of course, ignore any pictures of a hot, sexy woman and warnings about the wiles of that hot, sexy woman. Just bask in the beauty of the header (not that kind of header-you sluts!) and admire the ramrod straightness of the lines between the posts. Not too dark, not too light. Just right. Like Los Tres Osos. Yes, I did say ramrod. With a straight face. Really.

Need some template fixin? Lemme know. I'm bored. I have no job and Chicken won't let me dress him up in drag anymore.

How Does This Look?

2007-04-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

Anna is having some serious problems, none of which involve me kidnapping and sodomizing her. Nope, none at all. I'll lay it all out for you:

1. She asks for help on her header.
2. She doesn't respond in a timely fashion (3 minutes) to my request for a copy of her header file.

Therefore, I have to go to great lengths to fix the aforementioned header. Which isn't so much as fixed as smooshed. I don't feel like wasting ALL my valuable time when I could be working. Ha, ha ha. I'll fix it when I get the file and the EXACT specifications, biatch!

P.S. As a temporary fix, you can exchange your header URL for this one and it will not be so gigantic. Because, in blogs and in hair bigger is not always better. Burn!

P.P.S. Yes, I know the background is gray, and you have strayed from your grayness. I just wanted to show you exactly how big the header is by contrasting it against the gray. 'Cause I'm smart like that, yo.